013: Vices - I Wore a CGM and Tested 9 "Healthy" Foods for a Week: The Vegetable That Spiked Me Higher Than Ice Cream

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Written By Alysia Bell

Note: This post contains affiliate links to some of the products I use in the Lab. If you make a purchase through these links, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. I only highlight products that are a core part of my actual routine.

The Plate Said Healthy. My Blood Sugar Said Otherwise.

The food that spiked my blood sugar the most this week wasn't the protein bar. It wasn't the mousse. It wasn't even the ice cream.

It was a vegetable.

And meanwhile, a glass of wine and a bag of beef jerky actually made my blood sugar go down.

Same arm. Same monitor. Same week.

So I wore a continuous glucose monitor and tested nine "healthy" foods — the fruit, the squash, the protein swaps, the gut health drinks, all the things a health-conscious woman eats and feels great about. I'm ranking every single one by exactly how hard it spiked me, to the milligram.

And number one? You would never guess it. Stick around.

The Unfair Advantage: Season 2, Blog 2

This is Blog 2 of The Unfair Advantage — Season 2 of the show. Where Season 1 (the ASSETS series) shared the framework, Season 2 is the field data. All experiments. All real numbers. Every Thursday.

Last week, we audited "healthy" coffee orders (spoiler: the skinny sugar-free latte spiked me harder than a full-fat coffee at home). Today, we audit the plate. And for women over 40 navigating perimenopause, the truth about "healthy" foods matters more than it used to.

What a Glucose Spike Actually Is (And Why It Matters)

Quick primer, because it's the whole game.

A glucose spike is how fast and how high our blood sugar climbs after we eat. Sharp spike, hard crash. That's our 2 PM brain fog at work. That's the 3 o'clock cravings as we try to bypass the free food at the office. As professionals, we audit every line of the budget. But many of us never audit what's on our plate.

Composition beats category every single time. Hold that principle — it explains everything that follows.

One rule that matters for methodology: I tested each food at least one hour after any other food was consumed. The number you see is that food's true signature in my body — not a downstream effect from something I ate earlier.

Let's count up from the food that barely moved my blood sugar all the way to the surprising one that launched me highest.

#9 — Beef Jerky (–10 Points): The Food That Moved My Glucose Down

We start with the only food on my entire list that made my blood sugar go in a surprising direction. Down.

A 150-calorie bag of Archer beef jerky. Zero sugar. 24 grams of protein. Minimal carbs.

I ate this midday with no other food for at least an hour beforehand. My baseline was 90. An hour later, I was at 80. Down 10 points.

While protein ingestion generally promotes glycemic stability, my glucose still dropped 10 points. That's the power of a high-protein, zero-carb food with real satiety. This is exactly the kind of snack that survives an unpredictable meeting day.

#8 — High-Protein Magic Mousse (+12 Points): My Actual Go-To

Next up, my actual go-to: high-protein magic mousse, primarily Greek yogurt and whey protein. My serving had 399 calories and 74 grams of protein.

Baseline: 90. Peak: 102. Time to return to baseline: 2 hours. Total impact: +12 points.

A reasonable arc for such a significant dose of nutrition. I can eat this at noon, be razor sharp for afternoon calls, and not think about food until dinner.

Meaningful speed bumps, minimum drama.

Hold this line — because every food from here on out has fewer and fewer brakes.

#7 — Halo Top Protein Ice Cream (+10 Points): The Actual Dessert That Behaved

This one made me laugh as I experimented with the entire pint. Halo Top protein ice cream, peanut butter cup variety. 330 calories, 18 grams of protein, and 10 grams of fat for the whole container.

Baseline: 79. Peak: 89. Time to return to baseline: within an hour. Total impact: +10 points.

Here's what made me laugh: the actual dessert on my list behaved better than the "healthy" foods still to come.

The protein and fat in the formula did their job. Remember from the coffee episode — fiber, protein, and fat all act as speed bumps to slow down how fast sugar hits your bloodstream. Strip those away, and even the "healthy" carbs hit harder.

#6 — Aloha Protein Bar (+15 Points): The One I Used to Live On

Next, the Aloha protein bar — the organic, vegan, plant-based protein bar I used to live on. I remember having cases of the chocolate mint variety in my pantry, and often skipping meals in favor of another protein bar.

I really do think they're delicious. But my experiment produced a 15-point spike, raising my glucose from 79 to 94 in about 45 minutes.

Not terrible. But 50% more than the spike from the ice cream.

I still pick these up occasionally for emergency food while traveling, but my data has now shown me something worth naming out loud: my "protein bar" — marketed as fuel — spiked my blood sugar more than the actual dessert did.

#5 — Trip Sparkling Drink (+19 Points): The Health Halo Getting Expensive

Trip — the mindful, functional, alcohol-free sparkling drink. I actually really like these. But because I've seen them as a healthier alternative to other drinks, I was surprised by my glucose response.

Baseline: 78. Peak: 97. Time to peak: 40 minutes. Total impact: +19 points.

A calming wellness beverage that woke my glucose up more than my former go-to protein bar.

The health halo is getting expensive.

At this point, I started noticing a pattern. The louder the health claim, the higher my glucose numbers were climbing.

#4 — Strawberries (+28 Points): The One We All Feel Righteous About

This one is going to sting because it's the one we all feel righteous about. The one we feed our kids. The one we stock up on in season and freeze for later.

Strawberries.

Whole fruit. Fiber. Water. Naturally low in sugar.

But I ate a real bowl — about 10 ounces of them.

Baseline: 77. Peak: 105. Time to peak: 35 minutes. Total impact: +28 points.

Here's the nuance. The fiber in whole fruit can be an honest speed bump. But dose still matters. A handful of berries is a snack. A giant bowl is a sugar delivery system — even when it's just fruit.

The rule I now apply: whole fruit is welcome. But treat it like the sugar delivery vehicle it is when portions get large. Pair with fat or protein if you're going to eat more than a small handful.

#3 — "Healthy" Soda + Protein Chips (+7 Alone / +31 Stacked)

This one bifurcated the experiment. Soda and chips — but the kinds marketed as healthy.

First: Olipop alone (the prebiotic "better for you" soda).

Baseline: 88. Peak: 95. Time to peak: 20 minutes. Total impact: +7 points. Genuinely mild on its own, especially for such a tasty treat.

Then: Olipop + Quest protein chips (a "healthier" version of the classic soda-and-chip snack).

Baseline: 80. Peak: 111. Time to peak: 30 minutes. Total impact: +31 points.

That's the stacking lesson that changed how I snack.

Individually, both items are marketed with health-forward language. Stacked together — a "keto-friendly" chip alongside a "prebiotic" soda — the combined glucose response was 4x higher than the soda alone.

The marketing on the protein chip says "enjoy this snack anytime." Apparently my glucose monitor doesn't care about the sales pitch.

Stacking two "better for you" foods doesn't automatically produce a "better for you" outcome.

#2 — Kombucha (+30 to +36 Points): The Gut Health Ritual We All Feel Righteous About

Kombucha. The gut health ritual we all feel righteous about — myself included. I worked at Whole Foods during college when GT Dave's was rolling into the market, and I quickly became a devotee.

While wearing my glucose monitor over the past weeks, I ran two experiments.

First: the classic version (smaller bottles, darker labels, black caps).

Two bottles — which may seem like a lot to some, but no sweat for me. Baseline: 80. Peak: 110. Time to peak: 35 minutes. Total impact: +30 points. Still elevated 22 points at one hour.

Then: the "Enlightened" version (larger bottles, white caps).

Baseline: 89. Peak: 125. Time to peak: 45 minutes. Total impact: +36 points. A full hour later, I was still up over 30 points.

Let that land.

The fermented wellness drink spiked me three times harder than the protein ice cream, and twice as hard as the chocolate mint protein bar.

There's sugar feeding that fermentation, and on my continuous glucose monitor, it showed. This one is hard to swallow because I love kombucha so much. I now proceed more thoughtfully and treat my gut health drink like a treat, rather than a staple.

The healthier something sounded, the harder it hit my glucose monitor.

#1 — Kabocha Squash (+50 Points): The Food That Genuinely Broke My Brain

And number one — the food I would have sworn was the safest, most impeccable thing on this entire list.

A vegetable. My favorite vegetable. Kabocha squash.

I had half of a large squash — a big bowl of vegetables. But here's the part that genuinely broke my brain.

I did everything right. I added all the speed bumps. I topped my squash with olive oil and Greek yogurt (that's fat and protein). And I even had it alongside a decaf coffee with heavy cream (more fat). I stacked the deck completely in my favor.

Baseline: 82. Peak: 132. Time to peak: 1 hour. Total impact: +50 points.

The single highest spike of my entire week.

Higher than the kombucha. Higher than the strawberries. Higher than the ice cream, the bar, the soda — all of it.

A vegetable buffered with fat and protein still launched me harder and higher than anything else I put in my body that week.

Why? Because kabocha is a starchy, sweet squash. It is carb-dense by nature. Vegetable is not the same thing as low blood sugar impact. The glucose monitor does not care what grocery aisle your food came from.

Don't get me wrong — there are certainly health benefits associated with kabocha squash, including vitamins A and C and antioxidants like beta-carotene. But now, armed with my N-of-1 data, I'm aware of how my body responds. I can adjust portions and frequency. I can experiment with the ratio of fat and protein I'm pairing it with.

I added every speed bump I know, and the healthy vegetable still won the spike.

The Two Outliers: When Glucose Going DOWN Isn't Necessarily a Win

Remember I mentioned two things I tested that actually pulled my blood sugar down? The first — beef jerky — we already covered.

The second, which I want to approach thoughtfully: a glass of Sauvignon Blanc.

It dropped my glucose 8 points, from 89 to 81 in an hour.

Before anyone screenshots that as a green light for labeling wine as a health food, I want to share what's really going on.

Alcohol lowers blood sugar because the body treats it like a toxin. The liver drops everything to process the alcohol — including its normal jobs of producing new glucose and releasing stored glycogen. Research on alcohol and blood glucose regulation is clear on the mechanism: a lower glucose reading in that moment is not a metabolic win. It's your liver hitting pause on its normal functions.

I'm sharing my experiment results because this channel is all about sharing my actual data, even when it doesn't create a linear narrative. A glucose drop from alcohol is not the same signal as a glucose drop from healthy food. Same direction on the graph. Very different biology underneath.

The Bottom Line: The Front of the Box Is Marketing Fiction

Let's stack it all up.

Nine foods ranked. One rule confirmed.

The front of the box is marketing fiction. The metabolic response is fact.

That's the entire game. And it's exactly why I measure instead of guess.

I didn't need a cleaner label. I needed a clearer data set.

For women over 40 navigating perimenopause, this matters more than it used to. Our bodies handle glucose variability less gracefully than they did a decade ago. The margin for guessing gets thinner. The stakes of stacking three "healthy" choices in a row — a kombucha, a bowl of strawberries, a serving of "protein" chips — get higher.

Composition beats category. Dose beats label. Data beats vibes.

That's the bottom line.

Boring + Consistency = Results.

The simple thing, done consistently, beats the elaborate thing done occasionally. Every time.

Four Common Questions (And the Honest Answers)

Before we close out, four questions from women like us, who are trying to manage work, home, and their biology — and wondering why their current routine isn't serving them.

Q: "How does a vegetable spike you more than ice cream? That makes no sense."

A: It blew my mind too. It started making sense once I stopped thinking in "good food vs. bad food" terms and started thinking about mechanisms. Kabocha squash is starchy and carb-dense — a lot of fast carbohydrates. Halo Top has protein and fat engineered right into the formula — built-in speed bumps. So the dessert had brakes. The vegetable had a gas pedal. Composition beats category, every single time.

Q: "Did wine really lower your blood sugar? Should I be drinking it?"

A: No. I'll say it again because it matters. That drop is your liver pausing everything to deal with the alcohol. It's not your body running more efficiently. Please do not take a blood sugar video as a reason to pour a glass of wine — especially in our 40s, when alcohol hits sleep and hormones harder than it used to. The data is interesting. It is not advice.

Q: "Aren't strawberries and squash healthy? Are you saying I shouldn't eat them?"

A: Not at all. I'm saying: eat them with eyes wide open. I'm now more cognizant of portions, even with healthy fruits and vegetables. For me, 10 ounces of strawberries is now a dessert-sized serving, not a snack. And if I pair my carbs with protein or fat, I can flatten the curve. The goal isn't to avoid these foods. The goal is to consume them with better information — if managing glucose is a priority for you.

Q: "Do I actually need to wear a glucose monitor to figure this all out?"

A: No — that's my job. That's the entire point of this series. I run the experiments on me. I take the 50-point spike so you don't have to, and I hand you the cheat sheet. You just have to stop trusting the label and start leveraging the data. That said — if you're a little nerdy and into N-of-1 data like I am, you can easily get non-prescription versions of continuous glucose monitors online. I’m including the link to the one I use in case it’s helpful. But you don't need one to act on this information. We can now be more aware of our portions of starchy vegetables and fruit. We can pair carbs with protein or fat. We can be more skeptical of "wellness" labels on “healthy” foods and drinks. That's most of the game.

Your Next Move (One Decision in the Next 24 Hours)

Please don't try to overhaul your entire plate tomorrow. Be kind to yourself. Pick one change to make at a time.

If kombucha is a daily ritual for you, this week's shift is: try it as a 3–4x-per-week treat instead of a daily staple. See how your afternoon energy feels.

If strawberries or another whole fruit is your default afternoon snack in large portions, this week's shift is: cut the serving in half and pair it with a small handful of nuts or a spoonful of Greek yogurt. Same craving, flatter curve.

If you eat starchy vegetables (kabocha, sweet potato, butternut, acorn squash) and assume "vegetable" equals low glucose impact, this week's shift is: treat them like the carbohydrate they are. Same protein and fat pairing rules as pasta or rice.

If you snack on "protein" bars or "healthy" chips throughout the day, this week's shift is: read one label carefully. Look at the total carbs and the fiber-to-carb ratio. If it's marketed as fuel but the numbers say sugar, adjust accordingly.

We can just make one change at a time, and stack the next when the first is automatic.

If you want a bigger picture of where your habits are helping or hurting you, the free one-page ASSETS Audit from Season 1 is still linked below. Rate yourself on Activity, Strength, Sleep, Equilibrium, Total Energy, and Sustenance. Find your lowest score. That's your red light. The audit gives you one green light move to make in the next 24 hours.

Because you can't lead from empty.

When you're optimized, everyone wins.

Alysia Bell is the founder of All Green Lights CEO. She's tracked her nutrition for ~4,000 consecutive days, wears an Oura ring 24/7, and is currently running Season 2 of the show — The Unfair Advantage — a series of N-of-1 biohacking experiments including continuous glucose monitor data.

Sources referenced: research on alcohol and blood glucose regulation, the broader literature on postprandial glycemic response and glucose variability, the mechanism by which fat, protein, and fiber slow carbohydrate absorption, and emerging research on glucose variability, cognitive performance, and hormonal health in perimenopausal women.

FAQ

Q: What is a "safe" glucose spike from a snack or meal for a non-diabetic adult?

A: For non-diabetic adults, a common target is keeping post-meal spikes under 30 points from baseline (ideally under 40) and returning to baseline within about two hours. Different sources cite slightly different ranges — this is a general framework, not medical guidance. What matters more than any single number is the pattern: how frequently you're spiking, how high, and how long it takes to come back down. Consistent large spikes throughout the day can drive the brain fog, cravings, and energy crashes that hit output.

Q: Are all "starchy" vegetables going to spike me like kabocha did?

A: Directionally yes, though the magnitude varies. Starchy vegetables — kabocha, butternut squash, acorn squash, sweet potato, regular potato, corn, peas — are carbohydrate-dense by nature and generally produce a higher glucose response than non-starchy vegetables (leafy greens, broccoli, cauliflower, peppers, cucumber, zucchini). This doesn't make them "bad" — they carry meaningful vitamins, fiber, and phytonutrients. It just means portion and pairing matter. We can treat them the way we'd treat a serving of rice or pasta: we can mind the portion and pair with protein and fat.

Q: Does kombucha have too much sugar to be a "healthy" drink?

A: It depends on factors such as the brand, the flavor, the fermentation length, and the serving size. Some kombuchas contain higher levels of sugar per bottle, while others are marketed as "low sugar". Sugar fuels fermentation. The gut-health benefits (probiotic content, organic acids) are real for many people, myself included, but the caloric and glycemic footprint can be higher than the health-halo language suggests. Here’s how I plan to handle it: read the label, watch the serving size, and treat larger bottles as a treat rather than a daily default given that glucose management is important to me.

Q: What are "speed bumps," and how do I use them?

A: Speed bumps include macronutrients that slow the rate at which carbohydrates hit your bloodstream. The three big ones are fat, protein, and fiber. Some practical applications: pair fruit with nuts or Greek yogurt. Add avocado, olive oil, or nut butter to a starch-heavy meal. Prioritize protein at the start of every meal — the "protein first" pattern flattens the overall glucose curve for the meal that follows. This isn't about avoiding carbohydrates. It's about giving your body context to process them more gracefully.

Q: If I don't have a CGM, how do I know if a food is spiking me?

A: Watch for the downstream signals. If your food sends you on a rollercoaster of wired then tired, or if your food leaves you craving more carbs soon after eating, you may be experiencing spike-and-crash glucose patterns. If your afternoon energy consistently tanks around the same time every day, consider what you ate at your midday meal. Your body often gives you signs — the CGM just makes the story visible on a graph. You don't need a CGM to run the experiment on yourself, but if you want to try - the monitors are widely available and typically last for 10-14 days. I don’t wear one year round, but I like to have a CGM on when I’m shifting my diet or trying new foods - just to have the data.

The N-of-1 Disclaimer:

I am an executive and a mom, not a doctor or medical professional of any sort. The content shared here — including biometric data, protocols, and experiments — is for informational and experimental purposes only. It is a documentation of my personal journey and should not be taken as medical advice. If you have diabetes, prediabetes, or any other metabolic condition, please work with your healthcare provider before making dietary changes or interpreting your own glucose data. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional before making changes to your health, diet, or supplement routine.

Alysia Bell
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012: Vices - I Wore a CGM to Starbucks for a Week: 5 "Healthy" Drinks Ranked by Blood Sugar Spike